


The Final Red Line

by shamandalie (meridalocksley)



Series: Vis A Vis & El Oasis [3]
Category: Vis a Vis | Locked In (Spain TV)
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:26:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24384265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meridalocksley/pseuds/shamandalie
Summary: ♦standalone fic (canon timeline, alternative ending)♦After years of living together, are there still lines left to cross?
Relationships: Zulema Zahir/Macarena Ferreiro
Series: Vis A Vis & El Oasis [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1747813
Comments: 38
Kudos: 157





	1. Maca

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I said I won't be posting anything new for a while, I know...  
> But apparently if I have an idea in my head I can't postpone writing it down.  
> And if it's written why not to post it? 🤷
> 
> I am never again saying that I am done with writing for a while. Maybe then I will be done, lmao...
> 
> Someone stop me please. 👀

Maca pushed Zulema away from herself. "So are we now back to solving our arguments with ending up in bed?" she asked vehemently laying back against the wall.

"It seemed to be an effective solution, why should we give up on it?" Zulema shrugged arranging her hair. "Besides... mostly this is what makes us end up there. And we haven't really had arguments lately, so... it's been a while." she added with a brief smile.

She was right. It's been a while. Maca was even thinking lately that Zulema maybe doesn't even want to go on with this side of their relationship.

"So are we doing it or not?" Zulema asked impatiently.

Maca snorted. "Now that's a fine way to make a girl want to say yes..." she laughed.

Zulema pursed her lips then stepped behind her. She pushed Maca's hair aside from her shoulder and kissed her neck, slowly moving on towards her jawline, while putting her hands around her waist. "So are we doing it or not?" she repeated the question more quietly with a theatrically sensual voice breathing into her ear. "And I don't recall us ever setting a rule that we can't handle our problems this way." she added.

Maca was missing this. She turned around and their lips clashed fiercely, as if they'd be determined to solve every argument they've ever had.

They had no rule for this. And they've crossed so many limits they've set, that they barely had any left anyway.

 _I'm never going to join forces with you."_ Crossed. _"I'm never going to live under the same roof with you."_ Crossed. _"I could never be attracted to you."_ Crossed. " _I would never sleep with you."_ Crossed. _"I would never miss you."_ Crossed. Was there anything else left to cross?

They kissed wildly, breathing in each others air, pressing their bodies so tightly against each other's that it almost hurt.

Maca was glad that after the past couple of years they've still been there, together, stronger than ever. She was glad that Zulema was still there embrangling her life. She was glad that despite their rocky beginnings and their still rocky and very mixed feelings towards each other they were able to pack so many things into their relationship that they barely needed anything else. She was often infuriated by her. Often annoyed by her. Yet most of the time she was content. She was happy.

They fell onto the bed, Zulema pinned both of Maca's wrists to the pillow above her head and started placing open mouthed kisses along her collarbone. She wasn't being gentle, she wasn't soft, but neither agressive, she was just dominating enough to make Maca want to lift her waist, pushing one of her legs against hers, rolling them over until she was kneeling above her throwing back her hair. They enjoyed their power plays. Especially here. 

Zulema looked up at her, her hair was spread over the pillow like a messy black halo around head, her makeup was slightly smudged, but her eyes sparkled. She was like a black hole luring Maca towards her darkness, not doing particularly anything, but making the fleeing impossible. Then she smiled. With a somewhat more alluring version of her usual smug smirk. And in that moment Maca knew that she can't lie to herself anymore. 

She stared at her for a moment. For a moment too long, maybe. 

"What?" Zulema asked.

"Nothing." Maca said and leaned down to kiss her. She wanted it to be rough but she failed. It soon became slow and tender, and after a while she found herself lingering, being lost in the moment, just pressing her lips against Zulema's, looking for her hand, and locking her fingers around hers. When she realized what she was doing she rolled off her, laid on her back near her and looked up at the ceiling which was changing its colour together with the lights.

"What's the matter?" Zulema hovered above her laughing. 

Maca closed her eyes and exhaled. "I think I might have crossed another line." she said without looking at her. She was shocked that she actually said it out loud to her. She never thought she could. She never thought she would. Yet now it came so naturally. "I think I might have... I _know_ that I-"

Zulema put her index finger on her lips to interrupt her. She leaned down and kissed her again making her unable to speak. She already knew. She probably knew that Maca has crossed that line earlier than Maca realized it herself. But she didn't want them to acknowledge it. Everything was so much simpler this way.

Maca felt hurt by the way Zulema drove back her words, they kind of suffocated her now from the inside.

"We are not crossing that line." Zulema said quietly, but firmly, then she slid down, her hair tickling Maca's skin and kissed her inner thigh. 

Maca was reassured by sensing Zulema's touch on her body, she was there, she wanted her, what difference would those words have made? Yet it still hurt her that she didn't let her say them.

.

"Why did you silence me?" Maca asked. They were laying once again on their backs, side by side looking at the ceiling changing its colour to the lights.

Zulema sighed uncomfortably. "Because then you'd have expected me to say something too."

Maca looked at her, being half hurt, half amused.

"No. This doesn't sound like you at all." she said laughing and sat up. "You are selfish and insensitive enough. You take, you never worry about what you can give in return, Zulema!" Maca looked down at her. "You are just punishing yourself." 

Zulema laughed. "Don't be ridiculous!" she said being irritated. "How could I then be the selfish, insensitive, self-fulfilled bitch which you always remind me that I am, if I am hating and punishing myself in the same time?"

"Easily." Maca shrugged. "Those things are not mutually exclusive. The way me thinking that you are like that and loving you at the same time is not impossible either." she said in one breath.

Zulema looked at her with her eyes wide open, she opened her mouth but she didn't say anything. "Don't..." she said finally and got up from the bed. "Don't do it." 

"What?" Maca laughed. "You think that's the way it works? You really have no idea about feelings, do you?" 

"Don't say it to me!" she looked back at her angrily. "You will hate yourself one day for having done it."

Maca frowned.

"I might end up stabbing you in the back one day" Zulema continued. "...because that will be what I'll have to do to succeed, and I will do it, you know me well enough to know that too. And you will be disgusted by yourself." 

Maca stared at her. "So those are your plans for the future?" she laughed bitterly. 

"No, they're not." Zulema shook her head. "I have no long-term plans, Maca, I never had. I go with the flow. And that's a possibility."

This conversation got out of their hands.

Maca swallowed. "And you are worried, that you might hurt me?" she asked after a while quietly, looking at her. "Because that's what it sounded like." she added. "You wouldn't have warned me about something I should be - something I am - very well aware of otherwise."

Zulema blinked at her. And she realized it only then, that yes, that was what she said. And there was no way to withdraw that now. 

She sighed rolling her eyes and got into her hoodie, then she stopped in the door and looked back at Maca. "Yes, apparently I care enough to have warned you about something you knew anyway." she said mockingly, looking at the empty wall. "But this way at least you can never again throw it into my face that I only care about myself." she said pondering. "Because I _warned_ _you_." she shrugged, looking with a short, faint smile at Maca, then she disappeared.

Maca fell back onto the bed and stared back at the ceiling. She felt like a complete idiot. Did she just mess up everything now? But then she remembered the time when she thought that Zulema reminding her that she is dangerous, is probably the most selfless she can get to be. That was her way of caring. And she kept doing it.

.


	2. Zulema

Zulema stepped out in the open and lit a cigarette. She was about to head towards the small hill with the view she often went to in the mornings, but she changed her mind, and sat down on the shore of the small lake near which they were settled down instead.

 _Stupid blonde, and her sentimentality..._ They were doing fine, what they had was good and working. _Why did she have to bring this up now?_ She blew out the smoke and started playing with a stone.

She wasn't lying when she said that she was afraid of Maca expecting her to say something too. Apparently she was not that selfish and insensitive after all. Well, selfish maybe, because she was scared for the partnership they had, hence she didn't want to hurt her. But there was nothing fitting she could have told her. Nothing. 

Zulema was not a sentimental person, it was not her way of being. She didn't want to stick to a man, nor a woman, nor a romantic relationship, not anymore. The last time she's been in love it was with a much younger guy than her, who was lured by her chaos, who ended up being entangled in her messed up world. They were thieves, they were reckless, roaming free. Eventually she fell in love with him too. And then she killed him by betraying him. 

Her gaze fell on Maca sitting on the stairs in the door of the trailer. She was lured by her, entangled in her messed up world, stealing jewelry with her, they were living in a fucking caravan, breaking their own rules.

 _Damn.._. Zulema sighed shaking her head. She threw the stone into the water, it making a loud splashing noise. Then she stood up, went back into the trailer, wordlessly passing by the blinking blonde, she came back with two bottles of cider, handed one to her and sat down by her side. It had to be her breaking the awkwardness, she knew that.

"Rough day, huh?" she asked.

"You don't have to say anything." Maca said looking into the distance and took a long sip from the drink.

Zulema nodded. Neither of them said anything for a while.

Maca still felt like a idiot. She had no idea why she had to say it. It wouldn't have changed anything for the better anyway. They were already the best they could be, in their own messed up ways. She just simply wanted Zulema to know it. And it most likely was a huge mistake. _I fucked it up. Nothing will be the same..._

"Since when are you drinking this voluntarily?" Maca looked at the bottle. "You've always complained that it's too sweet and you made fun of me for liking it."

"It's too early for something stronger." Zulema shrugged. "And you can't have an exquisite taste in everything, I guess." she added with a smirk. 

"You're not making this easier for me at all..." Maca rolled her eyes.

"Right... sorry." Zulema said apologetically then she took a deep breath and turned towards her. "Stop acting awkwardly, Maca." she continued on a more serious tone. "We've been living in the same four square meters for two years, we've practically been married. Do you think I didn't know it?"

"Jeez..." Maca leaned her head into her lap. "Are you consciously trying to make it even worse?!" 

No, on the contrary, Zulema was determined to ease up the atmosphere and make things the way they were. She liked the way things were. Teasing Maca at the beginning about her attraction was one thing, but this awkward Maca now was almost as bad as the sanctimonious blonde who agreed to team up with her. 

"Come on... Don't you think that we had worse things and uglier feelings interfering with our... linkage." Zulema said ironically making a grimace. "Yet here we are." she shrugged. "And if we got past _that_ , I guess we'll be able to handle this too." she laughed. _Or this will be the end of us._ she thought as she drank. _But let's stay optimistic about the issue for now._

"Give me a cigarette." Maca turned towards her. She handed her one. Maca only smoked when she was celebrating. Or when she was extremely stressed. 

And as she sat there trying to lift her up and save the stability of their partnership, Zulema realized that she was also fighting for the relationship they had. She didn't want anything more. But she wanted to keep what they had.

She was simply on the other side of the line, not wanting to cross it, being unable to cross it, not needing to cross it. But regardless of that, she was there, doing everything she could for them to keep their balance around it. And if that wasn't what someone fighting for a marriage to work would do, she didn't know what it was. Zulema wasn't a sentimental person. She loved differently. 

Maca was still silent. Zulema raised her chin to make her look at her. "Don't beat yourself up." she said calmly. "We're good. We've been damn good, that doesn't have to change." she said with conviction. "I hope that won't change." she added blinking. 

Maca seemed to be slightly relieved by her words.

"But don't expect more from me than what I was able to give." Zulema said letting go of her chin.

"I wasn't expecting more, Zulema." Maca shook her head.

"Perfect." Zulema straightened up with a sigh. She squeezed Maca's shoulder as she stepped into the trailer. Then she turned back, as if she forgot something and crouched down behind Maca who looked back at her. 

"About what I said... I don't think I could betray you that easily. But still, don't ever trust me with your life. Just in case..." she said.

"Oh, and when you'll find out about the possible pitfalls I might have forgotten to mention regarding our next robbery-" Zulema continued as she straightened up again "you'll soon enough remember how much you actually hate me." she laughed bitterly. "And I hope our problem-solving ability hasn't changed either." she added with a smirk, then she turned around. 

After she stepped inside she leaned against a wall. _This will burn us to the ground..._ She thought and angrily kicked into a chair. Then she took a deep breath, ran her fingers through her hair and exhaled. _Or it might not._ she pondered. She decided that she'll keep believing in the latter option. 

Maca drank the last sip from her bottle. Zulema has always been a piece of work. But now she was extremely grateful for her.

"Hey, can I eat this last fish stick which is left here?" she heard her asking from inside. "It's a bit roasted, you wouldn't have liked it anyway." Zulema continued with her mouth audibly full.

Maca laughed. Yeah, they were good. Nothing has changed.

.


	3. "Us"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't planning to write another chapter for this part, but seeing all those puppy eyes in that sneak peak for Ep7 made me start writing something. But I wasn't happy with where I went with it, so I didn't post it.
> 
> I came back to it today because I started to be anxious for the finale, and it seemed to be a good idea to immerse myself in ff. I am still not fully happy with it, something feels off about it, but I'll let you be the judge of that!  
> (But tbh, after Ep7 I think we don't even need ff anymore, haha!)
> 
> Anyway, here is another chapter for crossing lines. And after this, there's really nothing left to cross.
> 
> Let's see what Monday brings!

It has been two weeks since Maca's slip of the tongue. Zulema acted as if everything would be the same as before, but Maca didn't feel it that way. She felt like she lost. She admitted something to her, what she can most likely never reciprocate. The only thing which kept her from feeling like a total shipwreck was that Zulema did not pull away from her, nor did she make fun of her. If that had been the case, Maca would have been probably long gone. But Zulema was behaving unusually decently and normally. Which of course also included that she left to the town for long hours, minding her own business. She was out there somewhere at that time too. Maca wasn't even worried about that anymore. She always came back and everything was fine. Whatever she was up to on her own, didn't overshadow their partnership. As if they'd have been in an open relationship. 

_Relationship?!_ Maca laughed at her own reflection in the mirror. She stepped out long ago from under the shower but she was still pensively looking in the mirror thinking about her life choices. _Who are you kidding, you idiot? We are not in a relationship!_ They've been a lot of things for each other, enemies, partners in crime, lovers, maybe even friends lately. They lived like a married couple but they were definitely not in a relationship. That was something what Maca knew that Zulema would never be able to do, not with her at least. Did she want it? With Zulema? No. She didn't think that was possible. As an idea? Yes. She longed to feel that she is loved, she has always dreamt about her own family, a house, children running around in the courtyard. But she also knew that she'd soon feel trapped into that life, trapped into the fancy courtyard with the weekly mowing of the lawn. With Zulema she was truly free. And she liked being this kind of free. And although it was not her inborn trait like in Zulema's case, near her Maca learned about herself that she also liked being wild. She liked who she was with her.

And in this moment Maca realized more clearly than ever before, that she doesn't have to feel like a loser. She could have left whenever she wanted. Yet she didn't. Because she wanted this. She wasn't settling for this lifestyle, she wasn't settling for what Zulema can give her. She was choosing it. Day after day. And Zulema also seemed to be choosing it, in her own way. Maca hasn't lost anything. They were both winners. They just gave different things to each other. And despite everything they still kept choosing what they had.

There was a knock on the bathroom door.

"What is taking you so long?" she heard Zulema's voice. "I arrived home fifteen minutes ago and you're still in there. I should really take a shower."

Maca opened the door. Zulema looked awful. Her clothes were dirty and there was clogged blood in the corner of her mouth.

"What the hell happened?!" Maca stared at her.

"I ran into an asshole. He hit me back. I fell into a puddle." she shrugged it off.

"You're bleeding!" Maca looked at the blood stain on her side.

"It's just a scratch."

"Why are you making everything seem less important than it is?" Maca sighed. "Let me see it!"

Zulema rolled her eyes and looked away as she lifted her hoodie. It wasn't bad, the wound was superficial and the bleeding has already stopped."

"Come, I'll clean the wound..." Maca ordered.

"I can do it myself..."

Maca looked at her with disbelief. "Why are you thinking that you always have to do everything on your own?"

"I don't think that. Why would I have put up with your face for the past two years if I would?" Zulema asked jokingly. "But I can clean a wound." she added following her.

Maca smiled at her. This was probably the first time that Zulema directly said to her that she needed her. 

"Why do you keep doing this to yourself?" she asked.

"Doing what?"

"Going against all those assholes, perverts, rapists. Yes, I know that you are still doing it." Maca added seeing Zulema's surprised expression. "You're risking your life!"

"Someone has to do it." Zulema winced. "And if I see one, I can't look away."

Maca looked at her with a sad face. She knew that this was a sensitive topic for Zulema. She knew that she was doing this to avenge her daughter in a way. And she suspected that there was something even more personal driving her, but she never asked her about it. And she didn't want to dissect it now either, the physical pain was most likely enough to deal with for Zulema now. For such a long time she was so focused only on the bad side of her, that until recently she barely ever saw the abused person underneath. 

When they were done with the wound, Maca wiped off a piece of dirt from her forehead, then she took a piece of cloth and washed away the blood from the corner of her mouth, then she softly ran a finger over the scar above her lip. She hesitantly leaned closer to her and breathed a kiss on the corner of her mouth.

"What are you doing, Maca?" Zulema asked, but she didn't pull away.

They never kissed each other so randomly. It was always preceded by an argument, alcohol, drugs, manipulation, a rush of adrenaline, one of them needing a distraction or being just simply bored. To be fair, there were many things which led them there, mostly selfish ones, but it was never simply the fact that they wanted to show affection. Zulema has been rather unsure about how they can keep doing all this with Maca's feelings out in the open. She said that nothing has to change, but she knew it too, that it already did. 

"Relax." Maca smiled. "I told you that I am not expecting anything more from you than what we had. But you look so crestfallen."

"What we had was not mixing things up." Zulema said nervously. "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, wasn't it like that? And I don't look crestfallen!" she added with a grimace.

"Yes you do." Maca said firmly. "And hadn't we been that many times in Vegas, I'd think that you might simply not want my affection. But we've been plenty of times in Vegas, Zulema!" she looked straight at her smiling. Zulema's lips curled into a smile too. "We've been almost living in Vegas!" she laughed. "At least until... recently. So no, this is not about me. This is about you." This was a daring thing to say, Maca was aware. She couldn't be sure that it wasn't about her. But the way Zulema looked at her gave her confidence. "What is bothering you? Aside of the asshole who got away?"

"Why do you always want an explanation for everything?"

"Because I've been living with you for two years, and apparently you still don't want me to go anywhere, yet you are not honest with me."

"What should I be honest about now?" Zulema asked on a weary tone closing her eyes.

"Why are you so afraid of being loved?" The question escaped Maca's mouth without much thinking. That happened quite often lately. After all this time she started feeling like they shouldn't be anything less then direct with each other. So she continued interrogating her. "Do you think that you are not worthy of it? Are you punishing yourself for having had been an awful human being, an awful mother, an awful lover, an awful friend?"

Zulema opened her eyes. She wasn't expecting such a direct question. 

"Or is showing affection just not your thing?" Maca continued. "Then tell me that straightforwardly, we are close enough for me to understand. What were you like with Hanbal? Did you two also have had crazy sex at night and played the strangers by day?"

Zulema looked at her, there was restrained fury in her eyes. Maca went too far, she already regretted asking this. She avoided picking on one wound, she picked on another. Zulema appeared to be the manifestation of insensitivity, yet she had plenty of pressure points. And even aside of this, Maca made this too personal. 

"Sorry." she said quietly. "But I'm genuinely interested... Why?" 

"Why what?" Zulema stared at her. "You're asking far too many questions today, I can't keep up with you." she turned away from her theatrically.

Maca swallowed. "Then answer just one. Pick one and answer it!"

"Yes, we had crazy sex with Hanbal, and no, we did not pretend to be strangers afterwards." Zulema said while removing a piece of dirt from her hair. 

Maca shook her head. She didn't even say anything, she just turned her back on her. _So typical..._

Zulema didn't want to lie, not now. She started to be tired of playing games. She arrived to the conclusion that probably the only way to keep whatever they had working was if she was honest with her.

"Not the question you wanted me to pick, right?" she blinked at Maca.

"Whatever. Forget it..." Maca sighed.

"Are you asking me why I am afraid to be loved?" Zulema straightened up. "I've told you already. But I'll say it again, more clearly this time." she said looking Maca in the eye. "Because it always ends badly. And someone always gets hurt. If it's not my own mother selling me, then it's my first ever boyfriend using me, if it's not my family taking my new born away from me, it is your family killing my boyfriend, or just me, coldly handing him to them... anyway... If it's not them either, it is Sandoval using my daughter against me, hurting, and killing her in the process of it. In the beginning it was just bad luck I guess, but then I've been playing dark games Maca, and it never ended well. Never! Someone always had to pay for my deeds. Often with their life. And I was stuck with the remorse which I always tried to deny. But it was there. It is there!"

There was a moment of silence between them.

"Are you asking me why I am afraid to be loved?" Zulema asked being teary eyed. "Because whenever I... care... about someone I give them a death-sentence, Maca! You are close enough to me anyway, isn't that bad enough? Isn't it much simpler if we have crazy sex at night and pretend that we hate each other in the daylight? That way at least no one can use us against each other." 

Maca looked at her being shocked. She asked Zulema why she was afraid of being loved, she wasn't expecting her to explain why she was afraid to love her. Well, she wasn't sure whether it was love, but it was something, and that something was more then what she thought that can ever come from Zulema's part. 

"This is bullshit." she said finally. "This is the past. This doesn't have to be a rule. Even if it is, aren't we all about breaking rules, crossing lines, doing whatever the hell we want?" 

Zulema raised her glance on her. 

"You're not afraid of me? Of what I can cause you?" she asked coldly, but genuinely surprised.

"Well, you sometimes still give me the creeps..." Maca nodded pondering "But generally speaking and regarding this matter, no, I am not afraid of you, Zulema. The way we live we are in constant danger anyway, and if it's not our lifestyle than it could be anything else. It's not fucking worth slowing down because of this. Since when are you living with your breaks on anyway? You used to say that that was me!"

Zulema laughed. "Funny how the tables have turned, isn't it? You are reckless. I am sentimental. We are bad influence for each other!"

Maca smiled.

"Are you not yearning for a normal life anymore?" Zulema asked. 

Maca sat down near her. "I am happy with my life now. I can't say for sure that my wish to have a normal life will never override my wish to stick with this craziness, but... right now? Right now no, I don't want anything else."

Zulema smiled, without looking at her. It was Maca being relieved by what Zulema just said, yet she saw the relief on her face too. They were so messed up. Persisting that the life they shared was just out of necessity, but refusing to let go even when they could. Or should. 

Maca stepped back into the bathroom and let the water in the shower flow. "Let's wash that mess off your face." she appeared in the door and reached a hand towards Zulema.

"Do you mind if I join you?" she asked casually when Zulema stepped into the bathroom.

"Haven't you just taken a shower?" Zulema raised her eyebrows. 

"The water was cold, I wasn't enjoying it." Maca shrugged.

Zulema bit her lip smiling. "Close the door." 

"Is this too normal for you? Should we argue before to get in the mood?" Maca asked jokingly when she stepped back near her.

"Shut up." And to make sure that she does Zulema kissed her. And it felt like the first time. It _was_ the first time that they kissed each other without playing games.

"And if this is too soft for you, I can be rougher, you know that." Maca continued breaking the kiss, softly digging her nails into Zulema's back. 

She hissed. "My scratch is bad enough, I wouldn't mind if you are not adding to it today." Zulema said with a tired smile. 

"Okay. So you want the simple way then." Maca smiled back at her.

And as they stood there, for a while simply just holding each other under the shower, it felt like the water was washing away all the misery they inflicted on each other through the years.

.

**Author's Note:**

> I find it funny that I've always written Maca being the one who falls more and Zulema being the colder one who cares less (does she?), yet in the show it's Zulema looking at Maca with *the* eyes and Maca betraying her. Hmm...
> 
>   
> 


End file.
